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Mumbai Mania
January 9, 2016

Even though your flight may be on time, over Mumbai they make your plane circle the airport several times.  So you're late. After the aerial tour of the airport, you end up in line for the bus to the international terminal.  You wait, then follow a clueless line of passengers to a bus, where you line up. And wait.  After you load, the bus bullies it's way through Mumbai traffic (yes,  your airport transit bus drives through the city) and you arrive at the International terminal, where you join a line at check-in.  Unless you're late, which you probably are, so they have you cut the que. Then you get in line to enter security.  Then you get in a line to go through security.  Then you get in a line to exit security.  Then you get in a line for immigration. Then you get in a line to get out of immigration.  Each time they check your ticket,probably to make sure you've been on the requisite number of lines.
By them you are about two minutes from boarding and you sprint to your gate, which is either across the terminal or deep in the bowels of it. After that mind-numbing tour of the inside of the airport, you elbow your way onto the line that is shaped like a clump of clueless passengers to get on a bus that takes you to the plane. You ride for 10-15 minutes around the entire airport and through some dark passages that you're sure will lead you into he'll or new Jersey. After the tedious tour of the airport grounds, you're back at the domestic terminal, where your planes is parked... The same one you exited nearly two hours earlier.  You thank God that your three hour layover gave you enough time for all of these tours... And you're off.
And this narrative is entirely true. Except for the part about new Jersey.