Appropriate Appreciation

March 29, 2018

“Those civilized might take a lesson from the humanity of these people to the shipwrecked.” James F. O’Connell, 1836

Although I have not suffered a shipwreck, I do feel a bit adrift here in Pohnpei. I made the trip to ground myself in the place that plays a central role in my developing solo play about O’Connell; a kind of non-research research trip. After being shipwrecked for five years in Pohnpei, he ended up in the US, to tour the vaudeville/circus circuits (occasionally with PT Barnum) performing his shipwrecked experience and being credited as the first person to publicly display tattoos.

I decided to visit Pohnpei to explore, discover and make whatever connections I could to feed my understanding of the play. I figured I needed to be given permission or seek someone’s blessing for my endeavor, especially in this time of ‘cultural appropriation’ sensitivity. But I knew I couldn’t just go up to someone and say ‘please.’ And I didn’t feel it right to simply pay a fee to use materials. So I started reaching out to see what I might being able to find out, or should do, or who to see or talk to or visit or even if anyone would care to respond. I didn’t know the ‘proper’ way to proceed. I still don’t. But I proceeded anyway, much to the chagrin of my nervous stomach. I wanted to know what to do, but I didn’t know what to do.

I made a few connections online in the many months before this trip, meeting with some lovely welcome and hospitality. One woman who agreed to do translations for me couldn’t, but helped find someone who could. A past student and a present chief encouraged me to visit during the time of Cultural Day when dances and music are shared. A local man I had never met offered me a room to stay adjacent to his office space. His assistant help arrange for a car, and met me at the airport to guide me. Another young woman, who I still have yet to meet, gave me the names of people to contact. I connected with a faculty member of the College of Micronesia who scheduled a reading of my play at a faculty day. She knew little about me or the project, but was excited by the prospect of this solo play I am developing. And quite amazingly, an intern of hers showed up…and proved to be a young woman I had worked with briefly in the Marshall Islands two years ago when last I flew out to work on developing an idea for a play! She seemed to be unfazed by the re-meeting. At a different college space. In a different island nation. As she stated so perfectly, “I didn’t think I would probably ever see you again anyway.” I finally met with the man who provided my translations and discovered that his grandmother used to tell stories of the character about whom I am writing! He then introduced me to a researcher who films and makes available cultural work…and has asked to film a reading of my play. And then, today, came Cultural Day.

Although I was encouraged to attend, I was essentially left to my own devices. I found the school where the festivities were being hosted. I simply joined the crowd, but then the Mayor of Kitti noticed me and invited me into a small indoor structure to sit amongst special guests. I met the Australian ambassador and the Governor of Pohnpei state. I was, of course, a non-entity amongst them, but was made to feel welcome. Food was doled out and my lap filled quickly. After a group of dancers finished their presentation, they passed out their leaf headdresses and I scored! Most everyone was so honored, but it was lovely to be so easily scooped into the festivities. When a group of woman took the stage, one woman caught my eye. I know her! I thought. When I approached her, she basically said the same to me and we discovered we had been in a training together back in the Marshall Islands 11 years ago. She is a career nurse, but waxed on about how much that drama training meant to her and stays with her to this day.

I don’t know what’s next. I know what’s talked about, potentially offered, what a couple of people are interested in trying to doing and know who I’d like to meet, if possible. But I still live in the ‘I don’t know’ world, much to the chagrin of my nervous stomach.

But I have reaffirmed O’Connell’s quote, which may prove to be the real journey. At very least, this uncertain experience has reminded me to slow down. Breath. Take uncomfortable risks. Connect. Trust in others. Embrace events as they happen, especially the unplanned. I don’t know if I am culturally appropriating, but I hope I am being culturally appropriate. As I am appreciated, so I better learn to appreciate.