A Sometime Fragile Existence

July 18

When next you face a frustration or challenge with a program, project or play, or even within your daily experiences, I encourage you to consider the following. Enjoy reading, of course, but know that frustration does not indicate a lack of value or dedication to purpose.

On Monday past, I started my third program in Majuro for this summer.  (Side note, I have never done more than one program in a summer here, so that’s a new experience for me.) It was the second week of this particular program, the first dedicated to other learning with the final two weeks focused on the drama portion.  The building we have generally used in the past is simply plywood with a tin roof, which makes it a very hot and humid space to work most times.  As the electricity had been out one day during the previous week, the program moved to a different (much smaller) space that happened to have air-conditioning.  I visited one day and asked, ‘Can we use the same room for drama? It will be cramped, but at least cool.’  So that arrangement was made.  Okay, so Monday morning arrives.  Ten minutes or so before starting, only about 18 kids were there.  The previous week there had been 26.  Within minutes of starting, there were 34 kids.  Some hadn’t shown up in a while, some new ones showed up and there was some quick figuring out what to do while the kids started the day by singing.  Oh, and I should mention that two staff members showed up late and one never showed at all.  Within the first half an hour, it was clear that the air conditioner was broken.  It got hot quickly.  Thirty-four kids playing drama games and discovering that this program was now challenging their comfort-zones.  By lunch time I was melting and hardly ate.  But we continued on, wrangling the ever-growing noise of this young group who started diving easily into the highly active experience, but often not understanding the rules of each game or activity.  So, we had to restart a few times amidst the sweaty laughter.  Our afternoon break food was late, which meant we were very low on water. We rallied into the last 90 minutes of the day, but you could feel the heat dragging the energy down.  We ended early and I was sure we were going to lose a handful of them, due to the heat and challenging (albeit enjoyable) work.  The good news?  Attempts were in the works to fix the air conditioning.

Which didn’t happen.  So day two started hot. Of course we didn’t know that at first, since someone had misplaced the key to the building.  Suddenly, we had a lot of kids roaming around outside and that can be a tricky thing here.  We did lose a handful of kids, but gained a handful as well.  I sighed, thinking how do I create a theater performance with this ever shifting group? Oh, and the music guy was sick.  Fortunately, one of the students stepped up to play a little guitar and we continued on.  By lunch the floor was slick with sweat and the staff seemed to be willing the most.  We did catch a small breeze through the one door and as the floor reluctantly dried, repairmen arrived and fixed the old air-conditioner (which worked hard to cool that room of sweaty drama people).  The temperature fell a bit as the joy increased and I challenged the students to raise that joy even more with the promise of ending early that day.  They did. And we did.  And the staff and I talked about the challenges and wondered what the next day would bring. 

To alleviate any suspense, the next day started with 14 students out of 34 not there.  With time (but not on time) they did show up (well, not all), but again a small handful of new ones were there.  Thank the powers that be that the room was cool, at least, and we generally had a good day, ending on an energetic note a little early once again.

Throughout these first days, one young man has proved a bit of a hero to me.  Intensely shy, I was sure he was going to be one who stopped showing up.  But each day, despite the challenges to his shyness, he continues on, working slowly through that shyness.  I doubt he will stand out in any way in the program or our eventual performance, but his willingness to keep putting himself out there impresses me. I find his daily existence in the program a great act of bravery.