Transformation or Realization?

July 28

Sanna (not her real name, of course) proved to be very tight-lipped in the early days of this current program.  By that I mean she didn’t talk, was reluctant about answering questions and if she did, was amazingly quiet.  She smiled on occasion, which suggested she enjoyed being involved but, despite a great deal of encouragement and joking around to get her at least to laugh a little, she remained fairly inactive.  This is one of the reasons that we start the program each morning with singing, something all of the students are used to in one way or another (church, gatherings, parties and just killing time) and, so, is often an easy in for establishing comfort and helping students ‘find their voice,’ so to speak.  This particular year with this occasional summer program, however, included a number of students who displayed greatest comfort with their own shyness.  Sanna was, of course, amongst that group.  Working in small groups, working with the whole group, singing…none of it was making much of a dent in Sanna and a couple of others like her. As we devised and practiced our drama scenes and stories, Sanna–and two other girls who were in a short scene with her–showed little ability or maybe even desire to enjoy creating the scene.  That scene remained stubbornly short, quiet and fairly staid.  Playing a group of friends out for a day at the mall, the students appeared more as if their characters were attending a funeral.  Their own.  I’ll bet now that you, my reader, know what’s coming.  The initial embarrassed giggling started, slowly, slowly, turning more into having a little fun.  Sanna still remained fairly close-lipped, and her scene stayed brief, but there was an inkling of willingness that wasn’t so present previously.  Around her, and even sharing the stage with her, there were several participants that were making the scenes and stories their own.  They began improvising in a way that amused their peers and helped make the stories grow and deepen.  And then we seemed to round a corner when Sanna stepped on stage during one practice and fairly burst with joy as she brought her scene (and scene mates) alive with tingling joy.  Her scene grew in size and scope, much to the amazement of myself and the program staff.  When we pointed it out to her, she seemed almost embarrassed by what she had done.  But, the joy continued such that on the night of our first performance, I swear Sanna led the charge in doubling the length of their scene.  The audience responded in kind.  Those are the moments that we hope for and relish.  And as this one occurred, I kept thinking about the concept of ‘transformation.’  In the theatre education world, we often use the word transformation to describe when a young person demonstrates a clear change in demeanor, ability and/or understanding.  But as I watched Sanna and a couple of others like her during this program, I wondered if ‘realization’ is a better way to describe the situation.  Such students have it in them to accomplish this, but might need others to help them loosen the cocoon they’ve lived within, whether that cocoon is social pressure, lack of understanding or experience with such a program or societal norms.  As these students realize what they can do, what fun can be had, and how people respond to their newly discovered power, they almost embrace that realization, giving themselves more and more permission to let that realization out.  I truly like the idea of ‘realization,’ because it hands the reigns of power over to the students to take control of their own learning and accomplishments.  I’ve encountered several past students this summer who made a point of mentioning how their experience in previous incarnations of this program helped open them up and move past shyness or discomfort.  There’s the realization.  Transformation means something has changed, but realization, it seems, means something has changed and you know it and embrace it.