As we might be…

Oct. 15

Starting this blog has proved tricky. I’ve stared at the computer for quite some time. Maybe my lingering sickness has contributed, but it could also be that I have recently moved into a new accommodation adjacent to my hosts and they are working hard to make sure I am well cared for. This latter part has me thinking, as one reason I like returning to India is that attitude of care. And I mean that much beyond tending to someone who is feeling ill, or simply trying to be a good host.

With each workshop I have taught here there exists an almost palpable sense of anticipation, as if people have already decided it will be a good experience and they let you know of their avid desire to get involved and get learning. That earnestness flows into the workshop itself, as people treat the experience with an enthused seriousness. This manifests itself in several ways. First, participants occasionally stand as you enter, as a sign of deeply rooted respect. Second, if someone comes late, then 1) They wait at the door for an invitation to enter, 2) They might wait in the doorway until a proper time to join comes up and possibly, 3) They apologize to the group for their lateness. As the workshop starts, the group will easily fall silent and maintain a patient focus until instructions are given as to how to begin. These days the workshop sessions often end with someone asking for a selfie. Sometimes many do. Sometimes picture-taking lasts for 5-6 minutes.

An interesting observation I’ve had recently is that the more modern the setting (bigger city, people educated in more ‘progressive’ schools), the less these occurrences happen. And that affects a bit of how I approach my work.

Johann Goethe wrote, “If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.”

I’ve been thinking about that statement recently, becoming more aware of how my own feelings and attitude do shift in reaction to what kind of an attitude others bring into the room. I have long believed (and taught) that when working with children, we should always focus on the positive to try and gently urge any negativity away. I often hear the comment that people feel much more confident to take risks and give something new (and maybe a bit uncomfortable and scary) a try because the lack of judgement is inspiring.

Here in India, the palpable earnest desire to respect what others do and who they are certainly help me have a more enjoyable time and feel more relaxed about sharing, so the same reason as the students I mentioned above: a clear lack of judgement. Let me immediately point out, however, that the lack of judgement doesn’t mean an absence of evaluation or feedback. That exists side-by-side with the earnest respect. But the evaluation and feedback also comes across as earnest with a desire to help improve the experience. I was initially taken aback as some people quite easily gave undisguised, direct feedback. But as I watched it happen in several situations, I realized that few were phased by it. Actually, quite the opposite. People seemed appreciative of having the time to discuss how to improve the experience or situation. When I connected that with Goethe’s “ought to be and could be,” I adjustment my response to embrace the feedback, understanding how it was coming from good intentions.

To be blunt, I often feel a sense of disappointment about the field in which I work. Theatre can bring out the shark in people and an artform that is meant to celebrate our humanity and engagingly explore our common plight as humans, too easily turns into an exclusive club that tries to keep people out or gives people a false sense of importance in which they act as if their knowledge or abilities gives them the right to pass judgement on others. So often I have seen and experienced how people desire to jump straight to negative feedback, emphasizing the ‘lack of this’ or the ‘awfulness of that.’ Why? And I will immediately admit that my ‘Why?’ is very much aimed back at me. I am guilty of that too much myself. How does such immediate judgement help, other than making ourselves feel superior to others? If we start from the positive, we contribute to the superior feelings within others. And then, maybe, those others will be more open to the feedback.

I have lived long enough in India to experience how that kind of negative approach also happens here. Although I haven’t felt it directly, it has been indirectly aimed at me. But there is always someone around who wants to help turn that around.

I’ve been experimenting with my approach to people. When I first arrived in India, I was intimidated by the many police, guards, military and etc that permeated life. But recently I’ve taken to thanking the security at airports as they sweep me for metal or shove my belongings through detectors. And more often than not, they thank me back. Normally I am pretty reclusive and don’t seek social interaction with strangers, but as I pass the myriad of people who sweep floors around here, or bring food for me, I try to keep up that simple thank you routine. It’s a very tiny show of respect, I realize, but when one cook friended me on Facebook, followed by a guy who I most often see puttering around sweeping bits of the hallway where I am currently working, I can’t but think that we’ve created a slightly more Goethe world, ‘We become what we ought to be and can be.’

How was your day today?