Looking back over a well-traveled path

January 2

I do not really believe in the idea of fate. I find myself more drawn to a philosophy based on chaos. So many variables ping-pong off of each other, making it hard for me to accept that each human truly ends up in some place, position or relationship that came about as a result of finely aligned variables. I mean, what happens if you are on your way to your fate and you have an accident with someone on their pathway? It was fated that you had the accident? The dog you hit with your car was fated to die in order for you to achieve your own fate?

As I wing my way across 2/3rds of the globe to return home, having yesterday completed my recent Fulbright-Nehru fellowship, I reflect on the 4.5 month experience. Ending up at the National School of Drama in Tripura felt a little haphazard. I learned of the program through graduates I worked with in previous years. Although the director of the School accepted my proposal to visit when I first sent an inquiry, our planning communication was spotty and incomplete. Truthfully, I had no real idea of what to expect or prepare myself for as I approached my journey back last summer. But, as I generally embrace the chaotic nature of experience, I boarded my first flight in August with bags full, hopes at a kind of medium level and an open mind.

Truly, there was no way I could have planned for what I ended up experiencing. I know of know other school or program quite like NSD. And I quickly learned that NSD wasn’t fully aware of what to expect from me. But they had taken the same leap of faith. The director of the School dropped into my sessions and workshops at first, but it became quickly obvious that he deeply embraced my work, as I reveled in the various opportunities to teach material and philosophies that were in direct line with my long professional experience. And the young artist/teachers responded well and enthusiastically. Soon, very soon, I was being schedule to teach workshops in other states and with other organizations.

The batch of 20 mostly 20-30 year olds and I formed tight relationships and had a great deal of fun together. I became 1) the longest in residence foreigner at the school, 2) the first foreigner to devise/direct a play there, 3) the longest in residence guest faculty and 4) the first person to also simultaneously work with 50—60‰ of graduates of the 8 year old school.

I learned so much, was challenged in so many positive ways (and negative, honestly). The fall was full of talk of ‘when you return, you can…’ And on my final day with the students, the intense joy, love, respect, sadness and, frankly, terror of not being together anymore proved deeply touching. One young artist/teacher said, ‘I feel like I am losing my father.’

The faith that brought us all together in a fairly chaotic way suggested a kind of fate, I amazingly find myself stating. I have been very fortunate to have many, many illuminating, enriching and engaging experiences in my life. But for possibly the first time ever, I say ‘This felt right.’